Now, wait! Before you have a hissy fit over the possibility of being called “Hiker Trash,” you first have to understand, it’s really a term of endearment. In a way…sort of.
I guess it depends on how it’s used and who’s saying it to you.
It’s kind of like “biatch,” or “homey.” Your friends can call you a name like this – “What’s up, biatch? Love the dress.” But, your enemies better not.
Hikers can – and often do – affectionately refer to each other as hiker trash – “What’s up, hiker trash? Love the kilt.”
But, it’s not cool when townspeople call them hiker trash.
“Why, dagnabit, you hiker trash better git outta town. You smell like you ain’t bathed in days.” True as it may be, this is an insult and not how the term “hiker trash” ought to be used.
So for our purposes, consider ourselves sitting around a campfire together, trail friends and hiking buddies. Embrace your hiker trashiness. Own up to it because, like it or not, you are or have displayed the essence of hiker trash in the past.
No worries! You’re in good company. I’m hiker trash and proud of it. I know many others who are too. We have more in common than you might think.
So how do you know if you’re hiker trash?
You Might be Hiker Trash if…
You’ve spent a cold or rainy night in the restroom of a state park.
You consider it perfectly normal to go weeks without bathing.
You’ve stopped shaving to save weight in your pack.
You’ve diced Spam or Vienna Sausages into your Kraft Mac & Cheese.
You’ve repackaged the food you just bought into zip-loc baggies in front of the store.
You’ve ever searched a trail town looking for packs of condiments.
You’ve cut the excess handle off your toothbrush to save weight.
You’ve begged food from strangers in State Parks.
You know exactly how much everything in your pack weighs down to the ounce.
You’ve spent the last day before a trail town talking about nothing else but food.
You have, or have had, duct tape somewhere on your body.
You woke up at Trail Days in Damascus and you can’t remember how you got there.
Your friends use your trail name – even when you’re not hiking.
You have the initials of some long trail tattooed on your body.
You’ve stitched something together with dental floss.
You’ve suspended the 5 second rule when you’ve dropped food on the ground.
You consider swimming and bathing to be equivalent.
You have duplicate pieces of backpacking gear.
You consider a Snickers Bar a “square meal.”
There ya’ go! If you answered yes to at least one of these, chances are….
If not, then that doesn’t mean you aren’t hiker trash. It simply means my list is incomplete.
Have an example of hiker trash of your own? Let us all know in the comments section.
See ya’ on the trail,
Here are some additional and fun comments sent to me by email, Twitter and Google+. Thanks for the great “hiker trash” suggestions everyone.
Diane from www.santabarbarahikes.com will be happy to clean up any candy you drop on the trail….
“Ha ha the 5 second rule. It’s the free candy rule to me. I was hiking
with my boyfriend, who was visiting me for a weekend while I was hiking
the PCT, him in front. We stopped by a lake to rest. I asked if he had
seen an M&M in the trail earlier. He said he had. Then he looked at me
and said, You ate it, didn’t you? Yep. I ate all the candy I found in
the trail. Once I found sweet-tarts in the trail. Score! Once I found a
Snickers bar on a bus. Big score!
Oh and initials tattooed are for the timid.”
From Twitter we have:
You might be hiker trash if you exfoliate with rocky sand while washing in the river.